Sebas

La Oracion del Dia!
Padre Temoc que estas en Sudafrica, santificados sean tus pases, venga a nosotros tu Juego, hagase tu voluntad en la banca como en la cancha, danos hoy nuestro GOL de cada día, perdona a los de TV Azteca así como nosotros perdonamos a los que ...fallan ( Guille, Venado y Vela), no nos dejes caer en... la derrota y libranos de la eliminación y los penalties.

AMEN.

INFIDELIDAD DE UN MARIDO

Un marido peruano, regresa a sucasa después de asistir a las últimas Olimpiadas de Beijin. En su estadía mantuvo relaciones extramaritales sin protección con una oriental.
Unas semanas después de llegar a su casa; se levantó una mañana y descubrió que su pene estaba lleno de unas manchas verdes y moradas. Horrorizado, se va a ver al médico inmediatamente.

El doctor le ordenó unas pruebas y después le dice:
- Le tengo malas noticias usted está infectado por el virus extraño, que proviene de Mongolia. Es extremadamente raro y lo siento, pero no hay cura. Vamos a tener que amputarle el pene.

El hombre grita invadido por el horror:
-¡Nooooo! ¡Quiero una segunda opinión!

El doctor le dice:
-Bueno, es su decisión, pero le aseguro que la amputación es la única solución.

Al día siguiente el hombre se busca un doctor chino. El doctor lo examina y proclama:

-¡Ohhhh!!!!!... Vilus de Mongolia. Muy lala enfelmedad.

-Sí...... sí..... ya eso lo sé; pero... ¿QUÉ PUEDE HACER UD? OTRO DOCTOR QUIERE AMPUTARME EL PENE!!!

El doctor chino se ríe, moviendo la cabeza:
-¡TONTOLINETE DOCTOL PELUANO! ¡SIEMPLE QUIELE OPELAL, PALA SACALE MÁS PLATA! ¡ESTO NO NECESITA OPELAL!

-¡Gracias a Dios!!!!!! - dice el paciente, agradecido y feliz..

-NO SE PLEOCUPE - dice el doctor - A VEL ... SALTE.... SALTE.... SALTE..... SALTE..... SALTE.... ¿VE? SE LE CAYÓ SOLITO!!!

- Durante una visita a un instituto Psiquiátrico, uno de los visitantes le preguntó al Director, qué criterio se usaba para definir si un paciente debería o no ser Internado.

- 'Bueno', dijo el Director, 'hacemos la prueba siguiente: llenamos completamente una bañera, luego le ofrecemos al paciente una cucharita, una taza y una cubeta y le pedimos que vacíe la bañera. En función de cómo vacíe la bañera, sabemos si hay que internarlo o no'.

- Ah, entiendo- dijo el visitante. - Una persona normal usaría la cubeta porque es más grande que la cucharita y la taza.

- No -dijo el Director, 'una persona normal sacaría el tapón'. Usted ¿qué prefiere: una habitación con o sin vista al jardín?

Dedicado a todos Los que pensaron en la cubeta...

Here is a quick tip that will show several methods how you can install pear beta packages. Normally if you will try to install a pear package that has not released yet a stable version, you will receive an error like:

pear install Translation2
Failed to download pear/Translation2 within preferred state "stable", latest release is version 2.0.0RC3, stability "beta", use "channel://pear.php.net/Translation2-2.0.0RC3" to install
Cannot initialize 'channel://pear.php.net/Translation2', invalid or missing package file
Package "channel://pear.php.net/Translation2" is not valid
install failed
Method 1: The classic way – to set the preferred_state beta

pear config-set preferred_state beta
pear install Translation2
pear config-set preferred_state stable

or much simpler we can set the preferred_state within the same command:

pear -d preferred_state=beta install Translation2
Method 2: Shortcut… add -beta at the end of the install command

pear install Translation2-beta
Method 3: Force the installation with -f

pear install -f Translation2

Have you ever run a command on a Unix-like system and then realized it’ll take a really long time, and you want to log out of the computer and leave it running? Or maybe you’ve connected over SSH to a remote server and executed a command that will take a while, and you’re really worried that your network connection will fail and kill the command.

There are several ways to log out without stopping the command. Let’s take a look.
Method 1: Job Control

When I learned about job control in the bash shell, I was in the middle of an AI project on my computer science department’s servers. I had written a LISP program that simulated a little robot going from place to place delivering parts to an assembly line. The challenge was that he had to figure out the optimal route to do so, all the while never running out of fuel. (As it turns out, he was cursed by my professor with a small fuel tank.) The experiment was going to take at least 3 days — he had a lot of learning to do and a lot of parts to deliver. But I didn’t realize this until I checked the next morning and saw his progress. What to do?

After reading on the web, I learned that I could press Control-Z to suspend the job, and then ‘bg’ to make it run in the background! Success! Then I logged out. And my job died. FAIL. Moral: test first.

Why did it die? Because when I logged out, the shell sent the SIGHUP signal to all of its jobs.

There’s a way to do this, though: press Control-Z, type ‘bg’, and then type ‘disown %1′. Now the job won’t get the SIGHUP signal. Here’s a demo:

baron@kanga:~$ run_forrest_run
CTRL-Z
[1]+ Stopped run_forrest_run
baron@kanga:~$ bg
[1]+ run_forrest_run &
baron@kanga:~$ disown %1
baron@kanga:~$

That’s method one: disown the job. It has a variety of shortcomings, though. Let’s see what Method 2 has to offer.
Method 2: nohup

Method 2 is to use the nohup command. This starts the program in the background and directs its output to a file called nohup.out. Now you can log out and come back later.

What’s the difference? Whereas disown is a job control feature that is part of the bash shell, nohup is a built-in standard program. It also takes care of saving the program’s output for you. You can come back to it later and tail the file to see what your program has been telling you.

Demo time:

baron@kanga:~$ nohup run_forrest_run
nohup: ignoring input and appending output to `nohup.out'
CTRL-Z
[1]+ Stopped nohup run_forrest_run
baron@kanga:~$ bg
[1]+ nohup run_forrest_run &
baron@kanga:~$

I consider both of these really crude, though. For example, after you log back in, how do you attach your terminal to the program’s standard input to type answers if it wants to ask you questions? This is just one thing that’s not ideal. You know what’s elegant? Method 3.
Method 3: screen

GNU Screen is the bomb. There is only one thing it doesn’t do for me, and I’ll talk about that in another post. Before I tell you about other things, let me paste some text from the man page:

Screen is a full-screen window manager that multiplexes a physical terminal between several processes (typically interactive shells). Each virtual terminal provides the functions of a DEC VT100 terminal and, in addition, several control functions from the ISO 6429 (ECMA 48, ANSI X3.64) and ISO 2022 standards (e.g. insert/delete line and support for multiple character sets). There is a scrollback history buffer for each virtual terminal and a copy-and-paste mechanism that allows moving text regions between windows.

If that sounds intimidating, it ought to — screen has a really absurd amount of functionality and can take a long time to learn. I confess that I am not familiar with about 90% of what it can do. Every so often someone shows me something new and I feel humble. It’s a lot like vim: ten years on, and I still know only a little about it. I do know I can’t live without it.

Enough about that: how can it run commands after you log out?

Simple. Just type “screen -R -D” and then start working as you normally would. When you’re ready to quit, you can detach with “Control-A D”. Screen keeps running. When you log in again later, you can type “screen -R -D” and re-attach to the screen session. I would show you a screenshot of this, but it’s hard to do — you’ll see why if you type the commands yourself. A screencast would be the only way to do a decent demo, and I’m too lazy.

That’s not all screen can do: if your network connection goes down, screen doesn’t die. You only detached, you didn’t kill it. It keeps running in the background and you can re-attach to it after your network connection resumes. When I’m working on a client’s systems, I start screen by default! That way if something happens, I can get back to where I was. I can also log everything in my session to a file with “Control-A H” and other people can log in and share the connection to watch me or help me with “screen -xx”.
Summary

So there you have it: good, better, best. I still use the first two methods sometimes when I run a command and then realize I should have started a screen session (or when screen isn’t installed, heaven forbid) but in general, screen is the arrow I’m always pulling out of the quiver.

By the way I’m intentionally leaving out some more shell features, such as starting a program in the background from the get-go with &. If you want to fill that in, leave a comment — I just wanted to keep this article on topic.

Un Niño Japonés llega a Estados Unidos y el papá lo inscribe en una escuela...

El primer día de clase, la maestra presenta a Susuki, hijo de un empresario japonés, a los chicos de sexto grado.


Luego la maestra les dice a los alumnos:


-Empecemos repasando un poco de historia de América del norte y del sur.


-¿Quién dijo "Denme la libertad o denme la muerte"?


La clase se quedó callada, excepto Susuki:


-Lo dijo Patrick Henry, en 1775.
-¡Muy Bien!


-¿Quién dijo "El gobierno del pueblo, para el pueblo no debe desaparecer de la faz de la tierra"?


De nuevo, ninguna respuesta de la clase, salvo Susuki:
-Abraham Lincoln, en 1863.


La maestra asombrada, les dice:


-Chicos, debería darles vergüenza. Susuki que es nuevo en nuestro país, sabe más de nuestra historia que ustedes...


La maestra alcanza a escuchar un susurro:
-¡A la mierda con los malditos japoneses!


-¿Quién dijo eso?, preguntó la maestra.


Nuevamente Susuki levanta la mano y dice:
-General Mc Arthur, en 1942.


La clase queda muda y uno de los chicos alcanza a decir:
-¡Voy a vomitar!


La maestra trata de ver quién fue el alumno irrespetuoso:
-Ya está bien, ¿quién dijo eso?


Y Susuki dice:
-George Bush padre, al primer ministro japonés, en 1991.


Uno de los alumnos, furioso, le grita al japonés desde el fondo:


-¡Chupame ésta!


Susuki, casi saltando en su silla, le dice a la maestra:
-Bill Clinton a Mónica Lewinsky, en 1997.


El alumno que era el número uno de la clase gritó:
-¡Yo era el primero hasta que llegó este japonés de mierda!


Y Susuki contesta:
-Mario Vargas Llosa - Elecciones peruanas, en 1990.


La clase entra en un estado de histeria.
La maestra se desmaya, cunde el caos...


Mientras los chicos se arremolinan alrededor de la desvanecida maestra, uno de ellos exclama:


-¡Chingado, la cagamos! ¿Y ahora cómo arreglamos este Desmadre?


Y Susuki responde:


Felipe Calderón, Ciudad de México, Julio del 2008

CONFIRMED GPS FIX
(Only confirmed for people whose GPS randomly stopped working, but since it doesn't harm anything it's still worth a try for any other GPS problem. It's just a general cache refresh.)

Q: So what's the problem?
A: "locationd", the process that makes GPS work, isn't working correctly.

Q: Why?
A: It's Apple so who the hell knows why. One thing that's for sure however is that deleting the cache can fix the problem.

Q: Tell me more.
A: No restore required, not even a restart. It's a simple fix, you'll just need a jailbroken iPhone to do it. If you haven't jailbroken yet, you should consider. You'll need to be able to send commands to your iPhone, which can be done through SSH or through Terminal, which is an app that can be installed from Cydia.

1. Go back to the home screen.
2. Open Terminal or establish a SSH connection. Note that these commands are case sensitive (capitalization matters). If you're using Terminal, you need to log in as root to run these commands. To log in as root type 'su' and enter the root password 'alpine' when it asks.
3. Type the following, it will terminate the locationd process (the process will restart next time your iPhone uses the GPS):
killall -9 locationd
If the above command says no matching processes found, that just means locationd isn't currently running and you can continue to the next step.
4. Type the following, it will delete the GPS cache (don't worry about deleting the cache, it'll rebuild itself next time your iPhone uses the GPS):
rm -rf /var/root/Library/Caches/locationd
5. Open Maps, your GPS should be working now.

So to reiterate the commands:

killall -9 locationd
rm -rf /var/root/Library/Caches/locationd

A los 95 años de edad, Don Juan se casó con Ana, de 25 años.

Debido a que su marido es tan viejo, Ana decide que después de su boda, ella y don Juan deben tener dormitorios separados.

Después de las festividades de la boda, Ana se prepara para la cama y de pronto se escuchan golpes en la puerta y al abrir está don Juan, con sus 95 años... listo para la acción!

Concluido el acto Don Juan le da un beso de buenas noches y vuelve a su dormitorio.

Después de algunos minutos, Ana oye otros golpes en la puerta del dormitorio y es don Juan.... listo para la segunda vuelta!

Sorprendida, Ana acepta, al final Don Juan le da un cariñoso beso de buenas noches y se va.

Más tarde, don Juan está otra vez tocando la puerta, y tan fresco como un muchacho de 25 años... listo una vez más !!!

Y asi sucede dos veces más, Don Juan regresa con Ana y después de la acción, le da un beso de buenas noches a su esposa y regresa a su cuarto.

Después de una hora, regresa don Juan por sexta vez y como si nada!
Termina y le da un beso de buenas noches a Ana; en esta ocasión Ana lo detiene y le pide que se no se vaya; está sorprendida y le dice a Don Juan:

- Me impresiona que a tu edad puedas repetir esto tantas veces Juan, en verdad eres un gran amante. He estado con hombres con un tercio de tu edad y son totalmente incapaces de seguirte el paso.

Don Juan, voltea desconcertado, le pregunta a Ana:

- ¿Cómo!!!... ya habia venido antes ?

Install your favorite Linux operating system on a flash drive or USB key no larger than your thumb (Thumb Drive). Your Portable Linux operating system can then be run from any computer that can boot from a USB flash device, allowing you to bring your entire operating system, desktop, applications, files, email, personal settings, favorites, games and more with you. It’s your own personal operating system you can carry in your pocket.

At Pendrivelinux, we provide simplified portable Linux flash drive installation tutorials and USB Linux installer scripts, making is easy for anyone to install, boot and run their favorite Linux from a flash pen drive!

As a marketing tool Twitter gets much more interesting and useful when you can filter out 99% of the junk that doesn’t apply to your objectives and focus on the stuff that matters.
The basic search.twitter.com functionality is fine for searching things that are being said about your search terms. The advanced search function offers more ways to slice and dice the stream, but still leaves some room for improvement as it only searches what’s being said and where. From a marketing standpoint who is saying it might be more useful.
Now that the search engines are all pretty geeked up over real time search you can create some very powerful searches and alerts combining Google and Twitter.
1) Target by occupation
Let’s say you have a business that sells an awesome service to attorneys. A simple search on Twitter will turn up thousands of mentions of the word attorney, but many of them will be from people talking about this or that attorney or the need to hire or not hire one. That’s probably not very helpful for your purposes.
However, if you cruise over to Google and use a handful of operators from the Google shortcut library (more on that here) you can create a search that plows through Twitter and gives you a list of all the users that have the word “attorney” in their title (username and/or real name) – Click on this search phrase and see what happens – intitle:”attorney * on twitter” site:twitter.com – what you’ll find is a handy list of attorneys of one sort or another on Twitter.
Without getting too technical, this search basically asks Google to look in the title attribute of profile pages on Twitter – obviously you can use any word to replicate this. The * tells Google to find the words “attorney on Twitter” without regard to order or other words – “on Twitter” appears in the title of every profile page so we need that term to make sure we search profile pages only.
2) Target by bio
In some cases searching through the optional biographical information can be more helpful than the username or real name fields. Maybe you’re looking for a very specific term or some of the folks you are targeting only reference their profession in their bio.
Google search to the rescue here again. This time add the intext attribute, the word bio and our key phrase to search bios – So a search for web designers would look like this – intext:”bio * web designer” site:twitter.com. When you look at this list you might notice that none of the people on the list would have been found by searching in their title, as in the first tip, for web designer. Try it both ways to test for best results.
3) Target by location
Location search by itself is simple using the Twitter advanced search tool – if you want a list of people in Austin you would use this in Twitter – near:”Austin, TX” within:25mi and Twitter would use the location field to show you Austin Tweeters.
But . . . let’s say you wanted to target salons in Austin or maybe the whole of Texas – it’s back to Google to mix and match – (intitle:”salon * on twitter” OR intext:”bio * salon”) intext:”location * TX” site:twitter.com – we search the title, bio and location to get a very targeted list of Salons in Texas on Twitter. Note the OR function for multiple queries.
4) New sign ups
Another handy thing about using any of the searches above is that you can also use the exact operators to create Google Alerts. By going to Google and putting in your search string as described above you’ll get everything they have now, but by setting up an alert you’ll get an email or RSS alert when a new attorney (or whatever you’re targeting) joins Twitter – I can think of some powerful ways to reach out to that new person just trying to find some new friends!
5) Keep up on your industry
Some of the best information shared on Twitter comes in the form of shared links. In other words people tweet out good stuff they find and point people to it using a link. I love to use a filtered Twitter search to further wade through research on entire industries, but reduce the noise by only following tweets that have links in them and eliminating retweets that are essentially duplicates – “small business” OR entrepreneur OR “start up” filter:links – this gets that job done and produces an RSS feed if I want to send it to Google Reader. Don’t forget the “quotation marks” around two or more word phrases or you will get every mention of small and business.
6) Competitive eavesdropping
Lots of people set up basic searches to listen to what their competitors are saying and what others are saying about the competition. I would suggest you take it one step further and create and follow a search that also includes what the conversation they are having with the folks they communicate with – not just what people are saying about them, but to them and vice versa – from:comcastcares OR to:comcastcares.
7) Trending photos
Photos have become very big on Twitter and the real time nature of the tool means photos show up there before they show up most anywhere. If you want to find an image related to a hot trend, or anything for that matter, simply put the search phase you have in mind follow by one of the more well known Twitter image uploading services such as TwitPic and you’ll get nothing but images. So, your search on Twitter might be – olympics twitpic OR ow.ly (You can add more photosharing sites to expand the search).
There, Twitter just go way more interesting didn’t it?